1) Iron the most important and strategic part of your shirts first. If you wear suits a lot, just iron the shirts’ collar and cuffs.
2) Your money is enough to buy a phone, but not enough to get at least, two powerbanks with it? Don’t buy the phone. It’s useless.
3) If you have to choose between charging a phone or a powerbank, charge the powerbank. You can’t press your powerbank while charging.
4) When traveling, learn to pay the driver with plenty twenty naira bills. It may shorten the time you spend on the road.
5) The first person to get to the police station is the winner. If an armed robber gets to the station before the robbed bank, the bank is guilty. So, always be the first to report.
6) You want to build a house? Don’t just plan for the duplex, plan to build a little local government; with your own electricity supply, water supply, security, road network, etc.
7) Before buying anything that uses electricity, search the market first for its solar version. Solar torch, solar fan, solar TV, solar stove, solar fridge, solar transformer. And buy it instead.
8) The normal price of a good is equal to the original price called by the seller, divided by two. Soogun’s first law of Haggling.
9) Bringing out the money, and counting it in front of the seller can dramatically favour your haggle. Soogun’s second law of Haggling.
10) As much as you can, enjoy that amazing new product- edible one especially, that has just arrived the market, its quality and size will reduce over the months.
11) No matter how good you think your eyes are, don’t trust shops with Igbo boys and blue lights. Always check the product out in sunlight.
12) Have a siren on/in your car, for whenever you need to bully your way through a traffic congestion. Or just buy an ambulance.
13) Always ask the suya and onions to be sold separately.
14) You’re stuck on the road, and it’s late? Don’t waste your energy trying to flag down a car. Just find a shop and sleep till morning.
15) You can’t live a satisfied life with one mobile network provider. Have at least three. The day MTN goes off, Airtel will be your saviour.
16) Always have garri at home. And it’s not cheaper in shoprite. Nothing is cheaper there.
17) know someone in every place. Hospital, bank, market, police station, army barracks, university, food canteen.
18) If the uniformed man is holding a gun, never argue with him.
19) Visiting a Yoruba household? Go with enough bottles of milk and antacid.
20) If a highly conservative elder insults you after passing something to them with your left hand, you’re good. But if they just look at you and smile, start begging.
By Soogun Omoniyi, my current Facebook writer–crush!