Corpers' Lodge

5 Things no Corper Should Spend Their Allawee on

Since my undergrad days when I went days without even #5 to use and buy pure water (because the water the school provided was liquid disease), I haven’t had a day as frustrating as today. Two reasons. Let me tell you.

Firstly, today is my CDS day, the only day I am permitted by law to not be present at my place of primary assignment, because I should be at my CDS thinking of ways to develop the community, but I did not go because I didn’t have #50 to take bike to the secretariat. I say #50 because if I’d been able to go, I’d have gotten the one to go back home with from friends.
I. Am. Broke!

Image from buzzfeed.com

Secondly, my period started yesterday and I don’t have money to buy sanitary pads, so I have to use tissue. It’s gross and very uncomfortable. I cannot go anywhere in this condition except if I’m ready for the embarrassment of my life and, no, I am not.

Embarrassed

Image from tenor.com

If you are tempted to ask me what I used my allawee for, don’t. Don’t allow yourself to be unfortunate this today like this. But I’ll say this again, that thing they give us vanishes like blood money! You know how those people that do blood money are always given an ultimatum? That’s how allawee behaves, like, if you don’t finish the money in one week, your kidney will rot πŸ™„. If I had not followed the tips in this post, I would have starved to death by now. E tire me!

I spent the whole of February in absolute lack. Let’s not bore ourselves with the details. So permit me to just go ahead and list a few things that one should, as a corper, never spend allawee on.

Never spend your allawee on wedding aso ebi.
I was made Maid of Honour in a friend’s wedding coming up by month end. It came as a surprise to me, because obviously I wasn’t her first choice. I had to pay for the clothes I’ll put on, a staggering #9,200 is what I had to kiss goodbye and where else but my allawee did it come from?

I am sha not bothered. Because this means I’m not permitted to miss food or souvenir in that wedding, and the chicken on my plate would have to be an overweight one. I’m also taking a whole bottle of wine and a large chunk of cake.

Image from makingmemorieswithyourkids.com

Never spend more than 3k on data per month.
The day you exceed 3k, you lose every ability to control yourself and not spend even more money on annoying funny videos and tempting cute videos of babies playing with puppies. Just FLEE!

Never allow yourself to fall for your stomach’s insatiable appetite for shawarma and suya. Never
I won’t say more than that.

Never spend your allawee on expensive accessories
In my desperate situation, I had to ask other corps members I know what they think they should never have spent their allawee on. One guy told me how he had once bought a pair of luxury shoes with his allowance. I was shook. Like, how do you wake up and decide to spend a whole, fat #19,800 on shoes? Shoes? Even though he said he regretted it, I was so mad when he said this. I haven’t even spoken to him since then. I’m beefing him in arrears.
See, I’m not saying that you should not invest some of your allawee into looking good. But come on! Don’t be extravagant na. Remember people like me and help our ministry πŸ™„. Please.

Never spend your allawee on another corps member
No, I’m not being greedy, just reasonable. Like, wait, isn’t it the same #19,800 we are collecting again? Why should I spend mine on you? No, seriously, why? WHY?

Image from giphy.com

Guys suffer this the most. But what is my own? They see it as good investment.

Image from recapathon.com

Hopefully sha, allawee should come today or tomorrow, since corpers in other banks have received theirs. But in this condition, the last thing I want to hear is how our money was swallowed by a soldier ant. I will just kill somebody.

Have you ever been this broke? Lol… I’d like to hear all about it in the comments section, please.

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25 thoughts on “5 Things no Corper Should Spend Their Allawee on”

  1. Oh wow, so sorry to read this.
    No, I have actually never been this broke thinking of it. I cannot say I know exactly what you are going through but I can say I understand a fair amount.
    Don’t they pay you at you place of primary assignment? If no, I think that is totally unfair and irrational.
    Warm up gurl, tomorrow will be better.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are lucky to never have experienced this o. May your never!
      They don’t pay anything at the PPA o, it’s a public school, so the idea is that the federal government pays us enough.
      May tomorrow literally be better o. Since it still hasn’t shown up by now, I’m guessing tomorrow.
      Thank you so much for your prayers

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Will you get a state allowance at the end of your service year for serving in a public school then? I mean…19,800 cannot be all you get! Where I served, the people that were deployed to public schools got free accommodation and state allowance at the end of the service year.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You were lucky. Here, there’s no free accommodation. They say they pay state allowance but the previous set didn’t get theirs and it seems our fate will be the same. Las Las, we are surviving and it will soon end.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm I’ve never been this broke before even though I cry super broke most times. Apparently you’re not the sought to resort to borrowing from friends? I’m really wondering how you’re coping

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s compulsory here o. We even have CDS cards that have to be signed on every CDS you attend. If it’s incomplete, meaning you missed CDS, no clearance for you and no clearance means no allawee 🀷.
        Sigh

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol.. I’ve been broke.. But you can always borrow and pay back.. Although I hate that because I’d be I’m debt and not enjoy my money as I wanted.
    Pele… God will help you and money would come.
    β™₯️

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Am i permitted to say I’ve never been broke in this article-sense-of-it. This must have been terrible; the tissue paper ish! I’ve got to points were it seem I’m there but God always shows up with even “just a bit”. NEVER EVER FOR ASO EBI DO THIS TO YOURSELF AGAIN, please!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Once in boarding school I was so broke I had to break dance for my classmates for #10 to buy buscuit and I am the world’s worse dancer so they were just making fun of me.

    I understand how you feelπŸ˜„
    This too shall pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You know one thing that keep me living… NEVER SAVE YOUR LEFT OVER, RATHER SAVE BEFORE SPENDING… though d alawee is not gud much but me at least i saved 2k b4 going for my mouth so if any contigency arise I jux go back to my save. We are experiencing dis fuck now. Zamfara corper in d building

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This philosophy of yours is the best, I mean, why wait till you are broke before you save, right?

      A big shout out to you, ‘Corper Timothy’ from Zamfara. Don’t worry, allawee go enter soonest.

      Like

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